He's Just Not That Into You
by Katia Earley
Summary: Based off the Alex/Gigi storyline from the movie, "He's Just Not That Into You," with Kurt as Gigi and Blaine as Alex. However, it's mostly from Kurt's point of view. First fanfic. Constructive criticism appreciated as well as reviews. Thank you!
1. Chapter 1

Kurt Hummel had a plan, and nothing will stand in his way.

The plan was made after drinking one too many tequila shots at Santana's New Year's party. Kurt does not want to spend another year single and alone with just his Broadway musical dvd collection for company. He was living in New York City for God's sakes! There had to be a plethora of young, available gay males looking for someone in this big city. That was why after he made that resolution, Kurt took any, and every opportunity to go on a date with any guy he could. Sure some of them turned out to be assholes and arrogant pricks, while others were more pathetic than him, but Kurt would not be discouraged. Some guy out there had to be Mr. Right, and Kurt was going to find him, marry him, have two children with him, and grow old with him. He was determined, and a determined Kurt was a force to be reckoned with. Kurt will find someone to be his boyfriend, and he will not rest until he does.

However, even he knew that this went beyond desperate. See, Kurt had gone on a date with this guy, Connor, a week ago. It was a lovely date, in Kurt's opinion, in which conversation was easy and bright smiles were exchanged. At the end of the evening, Connor hailed him a cab, opened the door for him, and told Kurt that he had a great time and would call him. Kurt had spent the past seven days obsessively checking and rechecking his voicemail to see if Connor had left a message. He hadn't. He's probably busy or something came up. Or maybe he lost his phone number? Countless of possibilities ran through his mind. Kurt, never being one to wait around, decided to take matters into his own hands. He decided to go back to the restaurant and bar that Connor had taken him to in the hopes of accidentally bumping into him.

Walking into the restaurant, Kurt's eyes immediately started scanning the room to see if Connor was here.

"Hi, are you joining us for dinner or-" The host asked as he saw Kurt looking around. Kurt was so engrossed in his search that he didn't hear him. "Hello?"

Startled out of his search, he turned a full-watt "Kurt Hummel" smile onto the host. "I'm meeting someone, a guy." He said excitedly.

The host mumbled under his breath, and after seeing Kurt looking at him interestingly, once again repeated, "Sorry. For dinner?"

Kurt replied with another one of his smiles and said, "I'll just wait at the bar." The host had said something else, but he wasn't too bothered with it. It didn't seem too important.

With his mind still occupied with thoughts about Connor, Kurt walked over to the bar and sat down on the only available seat. It was definitely crowded in the restaurant, which would make sense seeing as how it was a Friday night in New York City.

"What can I get you?" The bartender asked him. The bartender looked to be about Kurt's age, with curly black hair and hazel eyes. His dress shirt was black, as well as his pants, but Kurt realized that it was probably because that was the dress code.

"Oh no," Kurt said with a laugh. "I'm meeting someone."

The bar tender's eyes shined as he teasingly remarked with a wink, "Oh yeah? So you've got a hot date?"

Kurt turned slightly pink. On any other night he probably would have turned into "Bitch Kurt" and tell this stranger to mind his own business, but tonight was different. Kurt was feeling giddy and nervous at the same time, and needed someone to talk to. "Ah, I wouldn't know if you could call it hot. I mean this guy and I've only been out this one time…"

"Oh, you're gay?" The bartender questioned.

"Yeah, got a problem?" Kurt said with defiance and a glare.

The bartender shook his head. "No, not at all. I'm gay too." He gave Kurt a slight smile that Kurt could not help but return. "So you and this guy, are you two supposed to be meeting here?" The bartender asked after a little pause.

Kurt bit his lip and started to play with the hem of his shirt, both of which he does when he is feeling nervous. "Oh. Oh, when I said 'meeting,' I guess it was sort of a broad term, sort of a wide interpretation of the word 'meeting.'" Rambling was another thing he did when he was nervous.

The bartender gave him a strange look. "Right. Well," he said conversationally as he wiped the counter with a white rag. "You could call him."

Eyes widening, Kurt replied quickly, "Whah, no. Totally unnecessary. I was actually just in the area, so I just figured I would swing by and see if he was around." Feeling as though he should explain himself some more but without sounding desperate, he continued, "Because…I had his pen." 'Pen? Of all the lies you've told when you were in high school that even Dad didn't detect, you come up with pen?' Kurt silently scoffed at himself.

Obviously the bartender didn't buy it, seeing how his triangular eyebrows were now raised. "You had his pen?" The bartender repeated slowly.

"Yeah, his pen. I thought I should give it to him before he freaks out you know." Kurt gave a nervous chuckle.

"Okay then. So what's this guy's name?" The bartender questioned.

Kurt answered this happily, bordering on gushing, "His name's Connor."

The bartender stopped for a second. "Connor? Blonde spiky hair, blue eyes, with a British accent?"

"Yeah," Kurt replied in confusion. "You know him?"

"He comes here all the time. He came by yesterday with…" The bartender started saying before he abruptly stopped, looking like a school boy who accidentally told his best friend's secret to everyone in class.

'Of course.' Kurt thought to himself. This is what usually happens. Kurt would go out with a guy, have great time, and the guy would never contact him again. He knew that he was a bit intense, but he did not want to be grow old and not have anyone who loves him, god damn it! Dejectedly, he looked at the bartender. "Oh…Well, I'm Kurt, I went out with Connor last week. I just…" Kurt heaved a sigh. "I just…I thought that if I just ran into him…I don't know. I'm just gonna go now."

It must be saying something that he wasn't even embarrassed that he was made a fool again. As Kurt was getting off the bar stool, the bartender stopped him. "Wait. My name is Blaine. Why don't you- Ah, just, hang out for a second. Let me buy you a drink. One drink, okay? Give me, ah, two seconds. I will be right back." He gave Kurt an understanding look, and Kurt couldn't help but nod his head yes.


	2. Chapter 2

Blaine's two seconds turned out being hours. Kurt didn't know why he stayed there waiting for some random guy that he just met. Okay, sure, he was attractive, but that was totally not the reason for his staying. Maybe it was because this man could help him achieve his goal. He seemed to be nice enough. Or maybe Kurt realized that staying at this restaurant, waiting until it was closing time and empty to talk to Blaine, was better than going home and wallowing in his self-pity with a huge carton of Ben and Jerry's Belgium Dark Chocolate ice cream.

"Okay," said Blaine as he poured Johnny Walker's Black Label in two ice-filled glasses. "Look, you seem like a great guy. So, I'm just going to be honest with you. That guy you went out with? Connor? He's never going to call you."

Kurt took a swig of his drink and felt the slight, now pleasant burn that he had gotten so accustomed to in his throat. He placed his glass down with a slight thunk, and looked at Blaine skeptically. "Oh really? How do you know?"

"Because he's had your phone number for a week now and he hasn't called you." Blaine replied plainly.

Feeling indignant on Connor's behalf, Kurt couldn't help but make excuses for why he hasn't called yet. "Maybe he did call and I didn't get the message? Or he's out of town? Or got hit by a cab? Or his grandma died?" Okay, so his excuses seemed pretty stupid to him too, but he wanted to get that all-knowing look off of Blaine's face immediately.

"Or maybe he didn't call you because he has no interest in seeing you again?" The brutal honestly of that statement hit Kurt hard.

He needed to prove this man wrong. Going over every one of his friends' relationships, he found the perfect one to make his point. "Yeah, he hasn't called. But my friend, Mercades, who once went out with a guy who never called. She totally wrote him off. Over a year goes by-"

"Right." Blaine interjects as he looked at Kurt intently.

Kurt continued with his story, knowing he has Blaine's complete attention. "And she ran into him and it ended up that they-"

Blaine shook his head. "Your friend Mercades is an idiot." This stopped Kurt abruptly. "She is also the exception. By the way, the rare exception." Blaine continued, as he took his glass into his hand and took a deep gulp of the amber liquid.

"Okay, okay," Kurt conceded. "But what if I am the exception?" He asked hopefully.

"No, you're not!" Blaine said laughingly. "Not to be mean but you're not. You're not at all. As a matter of fact, you're the rule. And the rule is this; If a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't want to call you."

"Really?" Kurt asked puzzled.

"Yeah." Blaine said with a nod.

"Always?"

"Always." Blaine saw how lost Kurt looked and decided to elaborate. "Look, I know what blowing off a guy looks like okay? I do it early, I do it often. So trust me when I say, if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exceptions."

"Thank you," Kurt finally said as he finished his whiskey. "You've given me lots to think about."

There were so many thoughts swirling through Kurt's mind. If this is how it truly works, then Kurt had some serious re-evaluating to do when it comes to all his previous relationships if he wanted to find Mr. Right. However, now that he knew this secret, it meant that he was one step closer. Now that's progress.


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt walked into the office the next morning with the purpose of finding Santana and Rachel to tell them about his new found information. Rachel, Santana, and he had been working together ever since they realized that they were meant for a life in the large city, and not their different small towns. They met each other at the office, bonded over how horrible the coffee was in the employee lounge, and became fast friends. Despite being friends, none of them held back on being brutally honest when it came to the things that each other did.

Upon finding them around Santana's cubical, Kurt rushed towards them and started talking really fast right away. "So I finally figured it out!"

Both Rachel and Santana looked at each other and then looked at Kurt. Seeing the slightly deranged look upon his face, they braced themselves for the onslaught of word vomit that Kurt was about to expel. That meaning, they found a seat and got comfortable.

Kurt, not stopping at all to even take notice of the two, went on without interruption. "Remember that tech guy that cheated on me? And Anna from upstairs told me the story about how her befriend cheated on her in the beginning. And how he totally changed, and now they are married, and are totally crazy in love?"

Rachel blinked. "I thought that guy was an intern?" She turned to look at Santana, who had shrugged her shoulders and raised her eyebrows, confused as to where this was going. That shit with Kurt and the tech guy /intern-whatever- happened a year ago, and Santana had completely hated him and his long hair. But then again, Santana hated all the guys Kurt previously dated, since apparently the idiot only seems to go out with jackasses.

"What? No. Anyway, my point is Anna is the exception, not the rule. And we have to stop listening to these stories because the rule is that guys who cheat on you up front, don't really care about you all that much." Kurt finished.

The look of barely contained excitement on Kurt's face made Santana really want to burst his bubble. Obviously a guy who treats you like shit and cheats on you doesn't give a crap about you. But, instead of saying what she was thinking, Santana decided to bite her tongue for once and just responded with an "Okay?"- because after knowing him for so long, she knew he wasn't even halfway finished with what he wanted to tell them.

Kurt sent a beaming smile at her, and carried on. "Okay. So, exhibit A, Chad. The drummer who lived in the storage basement. He only used me for rides and yet I continued to stalk him from most of sophomore year in college. And then, oh, there was Don, who broke yo with me every Friday, so he could have his weekends free. I was so delusional about that relationship. I used to refer to him as my partner to random people like my dental hygienist."

At this point, Rachel shared another incredulous look with Santana. Where the hell did Kurt find these men? And, seriously, who in the world is really that intense with their relationships?

"And anyways," He continued. "all of my friends who used to tell me all these stories about how things might work out with these dipsticks because they knew someone, who knew someone who dated a dipstick just like mine, and that person ended up getting married and living happily ever after. But that is the exception, and we're not the exception. We're the rule." Finally, Kurt was done. He had a satisfied expression on his face.

Rachel and Santana were quiet for a moment. However, something in Rachel's face changed. "So, let me get this straight." She started off slowly. "If I hear a story of a girl that's been with a guy for ten years and he finally marries her, that's the exception. But the rule is that guys, like Noah, who has been with girls, like me, since senior year of high school and aren't married yet, they're never getting married?" She looked at Kurt hopelessly.

Kurt quickly tried to retrace his steps. "No, no, no! No, no, no." He said over and over again enthusiastically.

Wanting to facepalm forever at Kurt's blunder, Santana tried to help do damage control. "That's what he said, but I am sure that isn't what he meant."

"Yeah!" Kurt added, seeing the murderous look on Santana's face. "It has nothing to do with you. I was absolutely not talking about you. I was…"

Saving his butt again, Santana took over by saying, "This seems more relationship specifically."

"I was talking about myself specifically. Just me specifically. You know?" Kurt finished with an unconvincing chuckle at the end.

Rachel just looked at him and Santana. "Hmhmm." And with that she walked away.

Kurt felt horrible for getting Rachel upset. That was why when Santana kicked him in the shin and stepped on his foot as she went back to work, he accepted the pain as his punishment. However, he still felt like a good friend for telling her the truth.

The truth hurts sometimes, but it's better to get the truth now than later when it will hurt more.


End file.
